Mar 11, 2025 5 min read

Care is A Verb: Reading My Feelings Roundup

"Keep reading."

— Mariame Kaba

I think we can all agree that reality has been pretty fucked. I’ve been sad, bewildered and feeling the deep, rageful wound of feeling powerless. In an attempt to protect my sanity I am curating distractions that will allow me to disconnect from the constant stream of triggers and try to take care of myself a little bit. Last year when the latest campaign against Gaza was launched, I kept despair at bay by getting very disciplined about daily exercise, often multiple times a day. It was a way I could stay in my body, fully focusing on intense tasks that bought me some dopamine to combat my lagging motivation. I once did a two week elliptical endurance series, training to run for 10 minutes at my top speed without stopping. In those sweaty, achy moments where I was yelling and cursing at my virtual trainer, I was able to recover a little from processing the cruelest, most unconscionable mass devastation I’ve ever seen in my life.

Now, as things have continued to devolve and the fabric of the social contract erodes more rapidly, I am curating my brain space to keep from flooding too often and burning out too soon. Reading has allowed me to keep my brain on and stay attached to reality but also put some psychic white noise between me and the life-and-death problems which I cannot immediately do anything about. Books also help me access feelings of joy, excitement and hope that are essential which can be hard to self-produce these days.

I tend to read audiobooks, because it’s something I can do while I’m doing other stuff (driving, cleaning, walking the dog, etc.). This makes reading much more accessible to me, and I thank God every day for the public library’s robust selection of audiobooks and e-books. I highly recommend downloading Libby, or Hoopla, or whatever your public library content delivery app is.

Here are some books that kept me grounded and helped me feel hope, joy and wonder last week:

The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K. Le Guin

The image is a book cover. It features a snowy landscape with a castle silhouetted against an aurora sky. In the foreground, there’s a large planet. Above the title text, there are snowy mountains and a distant set of tall buildings in light and shadow. The title “The Left Hand of Darkness” is at the top in a stylized font with blue and purple colors. Below the title is the author’s name, Ursula K. Le Guin, presented in white letters against the dark background. At the bottom right corner, there is an illustration of a hand with the fingers curled around a black globe with snowy mountains visible on it. The text “Winner of the Hugo and Nebula Awards” is located below the title and illustration. — **The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K. Le Guin**

Ursula Le Guin gives us WORLD, gives us DETAILS, gives us POLITICS and INTRIGUE (with beautiful prose) as an interstellar ambassador sorts through allies and enemies in his mission to unite worlds. This book has been a winding trek through curiosity, wonder, and tenderness. This also made a good companion to Dean Spade’s book listed below.

Loving Corrections by adrienne maree brown

The image features an audiobook cover design with the title “Loving Corrections” written in bold, colorful title text with capitalized letters; the word ‘corrections’ is shown as a backwards reflection. The author’s name, “Adrian Marie Brown” is below the title in bright red letters, and one different colored vowel in each word. Below the authors name is the text “Emergent Strategy Series.” The background of the image is solid black. — **Loving Corrections by adrienne maree brown**

This was quick and to the point, with discrete topic chapters and you don’t need to read cover-to-cover. While tackling serious topics of what may get in the way of connection, collaboration and community, a.m.b. always offer some humor, which can be goofy or sardonic - either is appreciated. She’s reflective about the work she’s done over the years, and generous about what we can yet do together. Relates well to the following book, Everything for Everyone.

Everything for Everyone by M.E. O’Brian and Eman Abdelhadi

Description: Image of a book cover with a colorful illustration of interconnected subway lines over differently colored silhouettes of of the five boroughs of New York on a sky blue background; overlaid on top is the title “Everything for Everyone” and below it is the subtitle “The Unofficial History of the New York Commune”. The authors’ names are displayed as “M.E. O’Brian” and “Eman Abdelhadi”, with additional text along the top that reads, “A love letter to abolitionist possibilities — Lara Sheehi” — **Everything for Everyone by M.E. O’Brian and Eman Abdelhadi**

This is a pretty special book - a speculative documentary of what the world could look like in a hundred years if we moved from the current path of isolation and destruction to collective committment to survival. Similar to Le Guin, language is used to help us imagine things outside of our established norms. It’s not giving us utopia; we’re getting a vision. Read this if you need help imagining how we might do better and what we could be capable of.

Let it Shine by Alyssa Cole

In this audiobook cover image, a Black woman in a blue blouse is standing close to a white man in a dark coat. They are facing each other against a black and white brick wall backdrop, holding each other around the waist and arms. The text at the bottom of the image reads “Let it Shine” by Alyssa Cole. — **Let it Shine by Alyssa Cole**

Hello Civil Rights romance novella! I was delighted to find this quick read by one of my favorite romance authors. I primarily read romance by Black authors, and Alyssa Cole has given me some of my favorite characters and stories. This is a cute story about a young Black woman finding her voice, joining the movement, and having satisfying sex with a hot, sensitive boxer (adrienne maree brown advocates for pleasure activism; this book has pleasure AND activism, so…). There’s just enough grief and racism to give it some depth, but then happy endings all around.

Love in a Fucked Up World by Dean Spade

An audiobook cover image for Love in a F*cked Up World: How to Build Relationships, Hook Up, and Raise Hell Together by Dean Spade, author of Mutual Aid. The title text is in bright red and pink capital letters on top of a bright yellow solid background. — **Love in a Fucked Up World by Dean Spade**

Dean Spade, how dare you combine child development concepts with practical tools for reflecting on relational habits within a liberatory framework to make a compelling case for how to break free of oppressive romance norms and still find connection, pleasure and/or love? (Yes, I did juxtapose this with a literal romance story, LOL!) Also pairs well with ‘Everything for Everyone,’ listed above.

We Grow the World Together, Edited by Maya Schenwar and Kim Wilson

a copy of the book ‘we grow the world together: parenting towards abolition’ (edited by Maya Shenwar and Kim Wilson with beautiful cover art by Olly Costello) sits on a surface of brightly colored African fabric, next to a can of Modelo Sandia Chelada, with a colorful circular feelings pillow in the background. — **We Grow the World Together, Edited by Maya Schenwar and Kim Wilson**

***CAUTION: NOT BEING A PARENT IS NOT A REASON TO DISMISS THIS BOOK!***

I’ve just started this one - it’s our latest FSJP book club read. I love it when people decide to collectively treat children and young people like whole human beings, and are honest about parenting and caregiving journeys! This book is that, and I’m so grateful it exists. Do NOT skip the foreword or introduction - Andrea Ritchie and Maya Schenwar are not wasting words here! Read this if you want to grow a better world where humans continue to exist.

👉🏿 Remember: if you’re doing the best you can, you’re doing enough. Good luck finding the right books!

In love and solidarity,

📚 Atena